The Memorial In Indy

Steve drove Guy and I to Indy. I had not driven this road since Guy was in the hospital in 2002. With Steve driving it seemed as if we were flying. No jerking and instant stops.We had no problem finding the church. Steve parked the car and saw many cars coming into the parking lot. Patrick, his partner started the service after we were intoduced to many. After Patrick said a few words he gave the mike to Steve to start commenting on Ken and what he was to him. I disagree with some of his particulars but it was his memory and I would not complain. He then handed to another person and it was handed to another and another.
We got things said like, I didn't have anywhere to stay and Ken only knew me 6 months and let him stay in his basement rent free because he had no job. Ken said he could pay him back when he could. He said Ken didn't sleep and would have parties that lasted through the night. A student at IU I believe said he had been interning with Ken and his mother said he couldn't wait to get to Ken's house as he was learning so much. He said IU was not giving him credit for the internship and Ken set it up with IU so he could get credit. He said he was in a fraternity with no friends and Ken comes over with two 7 foot NBA stars and soon he had all kinds of friends and played Ken's new game called GM Extreme Disc. He said that game helped him a lot. Another person said he didn't know Ken long but by connecting with his friends he has more friends now than he ever had in 30 or 40 years ago. I believe one said he liked this movie Pay Forward 3 times but he paid way past 3. Others said he was the life of the party and there is no one like him. They said his mind never stopped thinking all the time. One man who was President of an retirement organization simlilar to AARP said although Ken had a degree in accounting from Purdue he hated it. He said his boss wanted Ken to be an employee but Ken said he would only be a contractor and would not work for anybody. We learnt of Ken's many circles of friends and always helping people as he believed in paying forward as he was helped. People from the Pacers commented on how they liked Ken and the job he had done for the Pacers. They said he had a good heart.

Days After the Funeral

These days have been hard on Guy and I both. We have searched for answers with nothing to ease the pain. My stomach felt like I had been run over by a truck and my chest feeling like a huge pressure pushing in to the point the hurt could not be any more painful. We also had to go through many papers of his and found out through these papers of how charitable he was to people. Sometimes we would smile as if the sun was shining bright in our souls but then something would come over us and it might only be a word or two or how it was said and our insides was burning from a heavy torch piercing our bodies. I was watching TV and an ad was advertising Mother's Day coming up and these tears from nowhere was making it very hard to see and then the rumbling of the body inside seemed to be an earthquake and it was splitting in many different directions. A call maybe come in by that time by a loved one like Linsay or Audrey and I would laugh for a minute or two. Painting seemed to help but having to call about monuments and so forth I would get back in the depressive mode. Guy and I will never get over this but maybe the healing may come but right now it seems like it is sticking with us. I keep visioning the last time we seen Ken leaving for Indy. I found out that he had moved which he didn't tell me. I found out online. He said a friend with a family of three had lost his house do to this economy and he didn't like his housse anyway so he let him move in and he moved into an apartment. I asked if he was charging him rent. He said he didn't have a job and let him stay rent free until he gets on his feet. Something like that happened to me when Guy was drafted by mistake in the Army and the landlady didn't charge me rent until he got out. I'm glad Ken had the heart he had and he will be missed by everyone that has met him.

The Shock

The call came from another city that my son had passed away. I won't go through the details but I just wanted to die. I threw the phone down and let my husband talk. I couldn't eat and could hardly stand on my feet. I had family in town already from many cities miles away. My daughter-in-law took charge and notified people and monitored the calls as I didn't want to talk about it. I put myself together and than I would have a relapse. It is the most awful experience I have had. She went on the internet searching on how to find a funeral home. We went to the most expensive one first and was given some ideas to make it cheaper as we had no funds available. We went to one funeral home that stunk so bad that when we got home she ran in and washed her hands. She said I don't care how much it costs we are not putting Ken in that place. We took a suggestion of the first funeral home to have him cremated in the city he died. We saved a lot on doing that so we went back to the funeral home and with enormous tears blocking the view we talked to Aaron Scott and Gary Schocke of Scott Funeral Home. I said I wanted to make sure Ken got in heaven and I want the Saints Go Marching In to play at the end but worked in the service. I always admired the way it was done in Louisiana and I decided to celebrate the life of Ken. The song I Did It My Way was played and I listened to every word and it fit our Ken as if it was written about him. I thought their might be a shock and I warned the people coming in about the Saints Go Marching In. I got only nice things said after it was over.